IMG_4772 Because I like working, traveling, and taking big risks to follow my random dreams (or stepping out on faith as my husband states it), I think there is an indefinite/likely permanent/I think I'm done pause on having more babies. Two, one of each gender, may seem sufficient to most, but our respective families average 5 children. My father has like 10, my mother in law is one of more than a dozen living offspring.

Albeit a good chunk of the women in this fertile family of ours are stay at homers, many of them do work.

This conclusion came to me ever so clearly last week when my husband was out of town. And though we pay my lovely sister to be an additional caretaker to my babies, a ratio of 3 adults: 2 children is difficult enough, a ratio of 2:2 led to my Come To Jesus conclusion about my own fertility.

I love my kids, I had them rather close together, which I now realize might be skewing my ideas of what it really takes to raise children. Babies, though totally dependent upon you, are the simplest version of kid creatures.

You don't have to obsess on whether you are raising them to be good people, whether you are over-utilizing television as a crutch, whether your kid's intelligence (or lack there of) is a result of said over-use of television instead of engaged instruction. Babies just need the basics form you: love, shelter, food, clothing...

I realized that all the greatness I hope to obtain through feats of unimaginable awesomeness, matters not if my children grow to be repugnant douches. The only way (at this point) to prevent epic adult fatuousness is by investing in them with a vigor and dedication that is proportionate the vigor and dedication we apply to our other life goals and passions.

Now keep in mind that this is my truth, not every woman's truth. But the way I work, the amount of education I wish to pursue, the number of global locales I endeavor to work; rearing dozens of babies (while aiming for exceptional behavioral, emotional, and spiritual quality) may not be possible for us.

One day I could produce another or adopt another, but in the here and now, I feel the need to give full and individualized focus to our existing batch of babies.